There Is Evening, and There Is Mourning

The time comes in everybody’s life to pass away. We face our last days (for many this is a period of old age when it seems the sun has set upon our lives) and we go to the grave. Though this is the way of things, it is not natural—mankind was not meant to die (cf. Genesis 3:19). However, we are all but vapors, here for a few brief moments and then gone (cf. Psalm 90:5-6; 103:15-16; 144:4, James 4:14). Some are taken after seeing only a few brief years while others face decades and may even be granted a century. All of this, of course, is from the Lord. Our years are completely in His hands (cf. Job 14:5, Matthew 6:25-34; 10:28-31). God gives life out of His grace and it is His prerogative to take it away again. “Blessed be the name of the LORD” (Job1:20).

Since death is a reality, how are we to respond, especially as Christians with a hopeless world watching us? Are we to put on a happy face and act as though nothing has happened? Are we to put on sackcloth and ashes and sit in the dust of the ground and weep? What should mourning look like—if we should engage in it at all?

Let us turn first to the Old Testament. We shall start at the very beginning with the first death—that of Abel. The first example of confrontation with the death of another we face is in Genesis 4: the death of Cain. Cain murdered Abel, provoking the Lord to anger against Him. What was Cain’s response to the death of Abel? We have no indication that he wept and mourned over the loss of his closest of kin—his brother. Rather, he thought about himself and how he was going to live, being cast out from the presence of the Lord. Cain’s response was completely self-centered. His response was one from sin. He showed no concern that his brother was dead.

We have another example in this same passage as well. In Genesis 4:25, Eve’s response, though brief and well after the narrative of the death, is far different from Cain’s. Eve responds at the birth of Seth, “God has appointed me another offspring in place of Abel, for Cain killed him.” While there is no mention that Eve had mourned, she was obviously upset over the fact that her son had been taken away from her—she had actually lost two sons, but only one to death. God had given to her another offspring who would carry on in the promise of Genesis 3:15. Seth had taken the place of Abel, bringing relief to Eve (who, without a doubt, was distraught over the death of her son).

Death reigns throughout the book of Genesis, even into the lives of the main characters: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. In Abraham’s case, his wife Sarah died at the age of one hundred and twenty-seven years, after bearing him only one child (Genesis 23:1). When she died, the Bible explicitly says, “and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.” Abraham had been dwelling in Beersheba, and so when Sarah died, he came to Hebron for the purpose of mourning for her. It does not specify the length of time that he mourned for her, only his response to her death.

After mourning, he went to buy a parcel of land in which to bury her. Abraham purchased the land for the full price, chiefly for the purpose of bearing his dead (Genesis 23:9, 13). Abraham would not accept the land as a gift, but rather purchased the land in the sight of witnesses that he may rightfully claim it as his place of burial for his deceased wife and for his descendents.

We are given a glimpse into the response of another over the death of Sarah—Isaac, her only son. Isaac was clearly upset over the death of his mother and would have mourned her passing. It was after her death that Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac. A woman was needed to take the place in the line of Abraham, and that one was the wife of Isaac, Rebekah. When she came to Isaac and became his wife, we are told: “He loved her; thus Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death” (24:67). Isaac was without comfort for the death of his mother until he was given Rebekah to take her place. Thus we see that Isaac mourned the passing of his mother for some time (about three to four years (compare Genesis 17:17; 23:1; 25:20)).

When Abraham died, Isaac and Ishmael came together to bury him. Ishmael had been cast out, but had come for the purpose of burying his father with his half-brother. Together they buried their father in the field he had purchased for the burial of his wife. Abraham had been buried in the land that he had been promised and with the one whom he had loved during his life. Though there is not much detail given, as to who mourned or for how long, we do see that the death of the father did bring the two separated sons together to bury, and without a doubt, to grieve for their father (Esau and Jacob came together to bury their father as well (cf. 35:28-29)).

In chapter 37 of Genesis, we see Jacob mourn again when Joseph is taken by the Midianites into Egypt, for Jacob believed that Joseph had been killed. We read of Jacob’s response:

[Joseph’s brothers] took Joseph’s tunic, and slaughtered a male goat and dipped the tunic in the blood; and they sent the varicolored tunic and brought it to their father and said, “We found this; please examine it to see whether it is your son’s tunic or not.” Then [Jacob] examined it and said, “It is my son’s tunic. A wild beast has devoured him; Joseph has surely been torn to pieces!” So Jacob tore his clothes, and put sackcloth on his loins and mourned for his son many days. Then all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. And he said, “Surely I will go down to Sheol in mourning for my son.” So his father wept for him.

Jacob mourned bitterly over the loss of his favorite son. His mourning was long, and he “refused to be comforted.” It is not saying that he refused his children’s attempts at comforting, but that he would not be comforted in his spirit—he did not get over the loss. Jacob was distressed over this loss—so much so that he is unable to let it go even years later (cf. Genesis 42:38).

Not only this, but Jacob also mourned even at the thought of losing Benjamin. He said, “If harm should befall him on the journey [to Egypt] you are taking, then you will bring my gray hair down to Sheol in sorrow” (42:38). Jacob could not bear to lose his only other son by Rachel, the wife he had loved so dearly. Realizing what a grievous loss it would be to lose both of the sons which Rachel had bore to him, he hyperbolically exclaimed that losing Benjamin would cause him to mourn so much as to “bring my gray hair down to Sheol in sorrow.”

When Jacob died, after traveling to Egypt and being reunited with his long lost son Joseph, Joseph “fell on his father’s face, and wept over him and kissed him” (50:1). Joseph had his father embalmed and he, his brothers, and even the Egyptians “wept for him seventy days” (v. 3). For their beloved father, the father of the man who had saved Egypt, Jacob’s sons gave a necessary amount of time for the grieving process; and the Egyptians grieved along with them. They did not rush themselves in the process of mourning, but allowed themselves enough time to heal.

After the grieving period, they went out as a whole congregation, upon the granting of a special request by Pharaoh, to bury Jacob with his wife Leah and his fathers. When they reached the place for burial, “they lamented there with a very great and sorrowful lamentation; and he observed seven days mourning for his father” (v. 10). Even after seventy days, at the time of final departure with the deceased Jacob, Joseph and those with him mourned and lamented very greatly and very sorrowfully. They did not hold back their tears and grief, but allowed them to flow naturally and in full expression.

When Aaron, Moses’ brother and the High Priest of Israel died, “when all the congregation saw that Aaron had died, all the house of Israel wept for Aaron thirty days” (Numbers 20:29). When Moses died, the whole congregation likewise wept for thirty days (Deuteronomy 34:8). This was the allotted period of time given to them to mourn for Moses before resuming their mission of conquest (v.8).

Though many kings and prophets died or were killed without any mention of mourning over their passing, in 2 Chronicles 35 we read of the death of Josiah—the beloved king of Israel who brought about great reform to Judah in his days. Josiah interfered in a battle in which he did not have business interfering. Though he was warned by Pharaoh Neco not to engage him in battle, Josiah refused and went to the battle himself. There in Megiddo Josiah was fatally wounded and he died in Jerusalem. There he was buried and we read, “All Judah and Jerusalem mourned for Josiah. And all the male and female singers speak about Josiah in their lamentations to this day. And they made them an ordinance in Israel; behold they are also written in the lamentations” (2 Chronicles 35:20-25).

Turning to the New Testament, there were a number of times when Jesus faced people who were mourning the loss of loved ones. In Luke 7:11-17, the evangelist tells us of a widow who had lost her only son. As she, along with a “sizeable crowd” (v. 11-12), went along mourning to bury her son, Jesus comforted her in this way: “He felt compassion for her, and said to her, ‘Do not weep.’ And He came and touched the coffin; and the bearers came to a halt. And He said, ‘Young man, I say to you, arise!’ The dead man sat up and began to speak. And Jesus gave him back to his mother.” This story is comparable to those of Elijah and Elisha, and their deeds of bringing two widows’ sons back to life (1 Kings 17:17-23, 2 Kings 4:18-37).

Jesus “felt compassion” for the woman who was weeping. He only told her not to weep because He was about to bring her son back to life. He did not rebuke her for being troubled over her son’s death; rather He “felt compassion.” He knew how painful death is to humans, and that mourning is necessary. However, Jesus here also gives us great hope. Jesus shows that He has the power over death and the ability to breathe new life into those who are dead, just as Elijah and Elisha did, by the power of God and for the glory of God.

Another, more famous instance of Jesus’ encounters with death and mourning is in John 11 concerning the death of Lazarus. Jesus deliberately remains away from Lazarus to allow Him to die, even though Jesus could have saved his life (cf. John 11:1-16, 21, 32). While Jesus knew that He was going to bring Lazarus back to life, He did not reprove those who were mourning Lazarus, including Lazarus’s sisters Mary and Martha. Rather, we see that Jesus, when He “saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled” (v. 33). Jesus was so moved over the mourning and the death of His friend that, as He approached Lazarus’s tomb, “Jesus wept” (John 13:35). Now, we must admit that Jesus is without sin (for Scripture makes this sufficiently clear (cf. Hebrews 4:15, 1 John 3:5)), and so His reaction to the death of Lazarus and the people’s mourning, four days after Lazarus had died (John 11:39), was the proper reaction.

We must also take into account the book of Acts’ telling of Paul’s leaving the church at Ephesus. After Paul had finished admonishing the church and telling them that he would probably never see them again in this life, “He knelt down and prayed with them all. And they began to weep aloud and embraced Paul, and repeatedly kissed him, grieving especially over the word which he had spoken, that they would not see his face again” (Acts 20:36-38). It can only be inferred that this is the proper response of the Church to the passing of a beloved member. Paul was soon to be dead to the church at Ephesus. It is possible that they never saw him again. Thus they wept “aloud” for Paul. They mourned greatly that they were losing their good friend and brother in the faith.

In light of the witness of Scripture, how are we modern Christians to respond to the death of a loved one? The eyes of the world are on us, watching intently how we react to death.

First, it seems to me that the time off from work for grieving is far too short. One company I saw online gives employees two paid days off from work. Is two days enough time to mourn the loss of a father or mother, a child, or a spouse? It does not seem so from a Biblical standpoint. Should we just accept the evolutionist’s worldviews on death and grieving? I think the only reasonable answer to that is ‘absolutely not’! The world views death as merely a part of life. Death happens to everyone and so it is just natural. Sure it is sad to lose someone, but you have to get over it.

Christians are not to respond in this fashion. Death is not just a natural part of human life. Death is our fault as a result of our sin. Humans were not made to suffer loss, let alone to suffer death. We were meant to live under the rule of God in perfect harmony, experiencing every grace. However, we forfeited that lifestyle through our disbelief and in seeking to become like God. We must show that death is to be taken seriously; it is not to just be accepted as part of life. God does not delight in the death of the wicked, let alone the death of the righteous (in fact, the death of His people is precious in His sight (Psalm 116:15, cf. Ezekiel 18:23; 33:11)). Therefore, we must not delight in it or even take it lightly. If we take it lightly, why should the world be concerned about it? After all, they think it is natural.

We as Christians, since we know the truth, must not blindly accept the ways of the world. We are not to accept their patterns of dealing with life or death. Rather, since different people grieve for different lengths of time and in different ways, we must take the necessary time to grieve—that may be two days, two weeks, one month, or longer. Grieving over loss is part of being human. Some may grieve by crying while others may grieve by putting their face in their hands. We must grieve how it is most beneficial to us. We must properly grieve to be whole. This lack of grieving could be (in fact, I’m sure it is) a major factor in the depression, anxiety, and all the other complications in people’s mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual lives after experiencing the death of loved ones.

As Christians we must set the standard, not conform to the practices of the world. We must let the mourning process run its course, as this is necessary to be a healthy human being. When the world says, “Get over it,” we must stand and grieve with those who are grieving. Blessed are those who mourn (Matthew 5:4). As Christians, we must mourn with those who mourn, and perhaps learn to do so (Romans 12:15). It is unChristlike to tell someone to “just get over it.” Christ did not say that to those who are mourning; rather, Jesus wept with them (cf. John 13:35). Thus we must comfort those who are mourning and allow ourselves to be comforted when we have lost a loved one. This means being with loved ones, such as friends and family, to grieve the loss (take Isaac and Ishmael and Jacob and Esau, for instance). We must remember, however, that despite our grief and the grieving process, there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4). Eventually we must return to life, admitting that life goes on even though we have experienced loss.

Let us remember, despite the grief that death brings us, that as Christians we do “not grieve as do the rest who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Christ has died and risen again. In the same way, God will resurrect all those who believe in Christ. Those who die as Christians are guaranteed eternal (both in quality and quantity) life in Christ. Those Christians who have died have merely “fallen asleep in Jesus” (4:14). Paul tells us, to give hope to those who have experienced the loss of loved ones:

For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.

The dead in Christ are given the special privilege of being the first to meet Christ at His return. We are to “therefore comfort one another with these words” (1 Thessalonians 4:16-18).

We are to mourn for those whom die; Paul is not saying that we should not. Yet our mourning should be with the hopeful expectation that those who die as Christians are with Christ and will be given resurrected bodies at His return. We do not mourn as though all is lost, as the world does, but rather with confidence that we shall meet them again. We have hope and can exclaim, “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Our mourning is to be comforted by others with this truth. Our mourning is to have a surpassing joy behind it—the joy of knowing they are with Christ. We have experienced loss; the deceased has experienced gain. We mourn as those who will not see our loved ones for a great period of time, not as those who will never see them again. Only death separates us from them, and Christ has conquered death and the lasting power that it claimed.

Now, for those who die without Christ, our mourning must also be proper. They are lost forever. However, we as Christians still have comfort. We know that God is just and will not deal with them in an unjust manner. We know that our God will do what is right. He has taken them in His timing. He did not owe them anything, but has blessed us with being able to know them for the period of time we did. We should thus reflect upon the times we had with them. This should also give us added boldness and zeal to go forward and preach the gospel to all, that no one else may experience this kind of loss, and in hopes that we may not experience it again.

On Mount Zion the prophecy of Isaiah was fulfilled: “And on this mountain He will swallow up the covering which is over all peoples, even the veil which is stretched over all nations. He will swallow up death for all time” (Isaiah 25:7-8). Christ removed the power of death from being over mankind. Though people still die, yet death has been conquered and is no longer to be feared. However, there is a second part of this promise that has yet to be completely fulfilled: “And the Lord God will wipe tears away for all faces, and He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth; for the Lord has spoken. And in will be said in that day, ‘Behold, this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us. This is the Lord for whom we have waited; let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation” (Isaiah25:8-9).

While Christ has fulfilled this prophecy in that He has taken away sin and the reproach of God’s people, bringing in salvation, yet this prophecy is yet to be fulfilled more completely, and to an even more visible degree. The book of Revelation makes clear that there is yet a future and more complete fulfillment of this prophecy:

“[Those who have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb] will hunger no longer, nor thirst anymore; nor will the sun beat down on them, nor any heat; for the Lamb in the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and will guide them to springs of the water of life; and God will wipe every tear from their eyes.” (Revelation 7:13-17)

One day we will cry no longer. There is a day coming when people will not die any longer. This day is yet future. Until then, mourning will continue, and it must continue, for we will continue to face loss. Let us mourn as those who have hope, however, for we belong to Christ, and He belongs to us.

“Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine:
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation purchase of God;
born of his Spirit, washed in his blood:
This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior, all the day long.” -Franny Crosby, “Blessed Assurance”, 1873.